Sunday, October 26, 2008

The big KC...

Hello all!

I though it was about time for an update. :)

So... i've moved to the big Kansas City for a couple years. I know I know, I can't really believe it either. It's a pretty drastic change from good ole' Welcome, NC. I'm still working with Doulos, as one of the girl's House Directors. I basically oversee, with one other house director, the "goings on" of the house and the safety of all of the Shelterwood residents. It is a challenging job, but I love it so far. I feel like it fits me pretty well and utilizes a lot of my strengths, which is incredible. So yea, there ya go.

Hope all is well with you guys!

Monday, February 25, 2008

So Many Options...

Well, I think i'm at that point in my LeadTime year that it's time to start debating the question of what to do after this year is over. I had my placement meeting with the leadership this morning. This is where we all sit in a room and discuss my spiritual gifts and passions and toss around ideas and just... dream together. It was great. Here is my list of options so far.

Southeastern Baptist Seminary
LeadTime Internship (1yr.)
Shelterwood House Director position (2yrs.)
Focus on the Family Institute
Internship/Position with the International Justice Mission
Continuing Youth Ministry at Oak Hill
Social Work (ie: "real") Job
Move to Atlanta and try to get involved with Northpoint and 7:22

They're kicking me out... more to come :)

In Him,

Monday, February 11, 2008

Changes/Where From Here?

We had room changes Saturday...

God has blessed me tremendously with my new room. The two girls I have right now are absolutely amazing. Honestly, I was really surprised when I found out what two girls I would be getting because I wasn't expecting them at all, but it's great. One of them has only been here for about a month and a half and she has some unique issues she's dealing with but she loves the Lord. She is very open about her past and her feelings, as well as her relationship with the Lord and she makes time to spend with Him daily. I'm really excited about being able to walk through these next few months with her, as these will probably be the most difficult of her time here. The other is a little that I was assigned to when I first came here and I didn't get the opportunity to know her very well then, so i'm looking forward to living with her and catching up. She is getting ready to graduate the program soon, so it's cool that i'll be able to finish up with her as her big again. :)
We're also going to be getting a new girl in on Wednesday that will be living in my room with me. I don't know very much about her other than she has a history of running away and she will be coming into our program straight out of juvie. She does know she is coming here and from her application, it seems that she is ready for the change and ready to work out her issues. If you guys could remember to lift her and her family up in prayer as they are making this step that would be wonderful. Also, that the Lord would give me the wisdom and discernment I need to minister to her in the way that she needs it and that I would be able to comfort her and help her be at ease here in this new and what can be a slightly overwhelming place.

I've also really been debating and turning over in my mind what the Lord has for me after my year of LeadTime is over. Right now the options i'm praying over are seminary, staying here and applying for the internship and/or house director positions (which would mean another 1-2 yr. commitment to Doulos), or going home and working possibly at my church again and taking some time off. It's so overwhelming and I honestly have no idea where the Lord is leading me right now. I'm willing to follow Him, whatever direction He asks me to go in, but it's just a scary thing. Any input or prayers in this area would also be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to any (if any) and all who take the time to read these. May God bless you!

In Him,

Thursday, February 7, 2008

So we do not lose heart.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted; but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus; sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. Sice we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, "I believed, and so I spoke," we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2Cor. 4:7-18

We just started our new classes for the Spring a couple weeks ago, one of which is Inductive Bible Study. I have chosen this passage to analyze, write a paper on, and teach this semester. There are so many things about this passage that sum up my time here in Missouri so far.

When I came here, I was ready to go. I felt like I had the knowledge and experience to take this place by storm and really make a difference in some kid's lives. I knew the Lord had led me here, but I felt it was because I was qualified to do it and I would enjoy it. Yea, I wanted the Lord to grow me, but I wasn't expecting all that I have learned and the challenges i've faced. I have to run for now, but hopefully i'll be able to share more about this passage and my time here within the next few days.

In Him,

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Give it all away.

"And behold, a man came up to him, saing, "Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?" And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments." He said to him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man said to him, "All these I have kept. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions."
-Matthew 19:16-22

Surely, this is a story most Christians have heard many times, so much so that it has probably lost the umph the Lord intended it to have.

This young man had it all wrong... just as many of us do. He asks Jesus, "What do I need to do to get to heaven?" Jesus tells him to follow the commandments. Now why in the world would Jesus do that? Well... i'm pretty sure Jesus already knew the answer to his question and that this young man already knew the commandments. Knowing that he had followed these... Jesus tells him to be perfect and to enter into life (note: not "eternal life" just "life" - we can have life more abundantly here on earth, it doesn't just start when we get to heaven), he must sell all of his possessions and give to the poor, then truly come and follow him. WOW... Jesus bypasses the outer junk and cuts straight into this man's heart, something he is an expert at. This man couldn't truly serve the Lord because there was a barrier there... his possessions. Unfortunately, he turns away and leaves, sad.

I wonder how many of us, being faced with this same command daily, make the same choice as the rich young man... to turn and walk away, sad. I don't believe that God has called all of us to sell all of our possessions, but we must honestly ask ourselves if our "stuff" is keeping us from fully serving Christ. If it is... do we heed the call to put that aside or do we do just like this man did and leave sad. Jesus doesn't call us to renounce everything but him because he is mean and wants our lives to be miserable, he does it because he has something better to offer us. Freedom, Joy, Peace, Love, Sacrafice, Hope. Let's evaluate how much we are really treasuring our "stuff." Let's get back to treasuring the only thing that really matters and ever will matter, being servants of the Master.

Under His Mercy,

Monday, February 4, 2008


Well folks... there has been a lot going on in my life the past couple weeks.
Struggle has definately been something the Lord has placed in my life and is teaching me through still.

Another area the Lord has really been dealing with in my heart lately is materialism. I could go on about this forever, but I only have a few minutes so i'll keep this as brief and to the point as possible.
Our culture has literally began to make me sick to my stomach when it comes to our consumeristic mindset. I read in Brennan Manning's book, The Signature of Jesus recently that most of our conversations revolve around consuming; what are we going to eat, where are we going to shop, the new phone or ipod we just got, the sale that is going on downtown, blah blah blah, etc. What is this life really all about? If we judged that by the things we talk about, one would have to assume that it's all about things we buy and how we look.
The Word says that out of the abundance of the heart, man speaks... well, what's really in our hearts?

I hope to expound on this subject a little more in the next few posts but I just wanted to put these thoughts out there.

Under His Mercy,

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Recently I've been thinking about struggle a lot, probably because I feel like that's all i've been doing.

I've wondered why it really is that the Lord allows us to go through struggles. When I'm running low on money and I don't know if i'll be able to afford to go home over our next break, or when a little is getting under my skin, or when I'm trying to figure out what i'm going to do next year, or when I have a hard conversation with my parents... what is the Lord's purpose in all of these things?

I told one of my littles the other day, as she is going through a rough patch, that the Lord allows us to go through difficult circumstances in order to grow us and conform us more into His image. I told her that he is preparing her for something that lies ahead that she can't see. I told her that she should rejoice in her struggles because that is when other's will see Christ's power through her more and more. I told her the Lord loves us too much to leave us where we are, so he allows us to go through hard times for our own good, even though it may seem difficult in the moment.

I found myself remembering this conversation when I have been going through some rough patches recently. I know in my heart I believe all of these things to be true, but it is so hard to live that out. Instead, I find myself retreating and becoming angry with God, questioning him, "Don't you see what's going on down here???"

O ye of little faith.
I hear him say in that still small voice.

Lord, increase my faith.

In Him,

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Last 6 Months...

Well... what can I say? I know the posting every week didn't happen, obviously. All I can say is the past 6 months have probably been the hardest, busiest, scariest, best 6 months of my life.

There is no way I could summarize all that has taken place since I came here so I won't even attempt. What I will do is try to share with you a little of what the Lord has been teaching me since i've been here because in the final analysis, that's what it all boils down to anyway.

The first thing that comes to my mind is spiritual community. I was aware from the beginning that this is one of them main aspects of LeadTime, but I must admit, I really had no idea what I was getting into with this. I live and work with some of the most amazing men and women of the Lord that I have ever known. They know me... probably just as well as any group of people have known me in my entire life. They have seen me succeed and be strong and they have seen me fail and be weak and vica versa. I have learned so much about myself, both spiritually and emotionally, and they have been there to observe the entire process. They are there to build me up and encourage me and to catch me when I fall on my face... which I do. We love each other, truly, as Christ intended us to. Now all of this is not to say that we are not human and that we don't fail... but we accept each other's shortcomings and love despite them.

I have truly experienced what the word means when it says our goal should be the same as Christ's: to serve, not to be served. Daily I beat down my selfishness and self-centerdness with a stick and try my best to put other's needs before my own. This is not an easy task. When you wake up at 6am and serve until 12am, it can be daunting. The fact is, however, that my life is not my own, my time is not my own, and my gifts are not my own. These are all Christ's and I will work for him through serving other's until the Lord decides to take me home. This is how other's will know who's disciple you are... by how you love one another.

I'm also learning what it means to lead as Christ leads. I'm realizing (& I feel like God has been teaching me this for a while now) that true leadership happens in the ability to step back and be out of the spotlight. Leadership is developed in opportunities to be humble and compassionate, not prideful and domineering.

Those are just a few sentiments i've take from the last 6 months. I hope there will be more to come here soon, but I won't make any promises. God bless all of you, thanks for reading!

Under His Mercy,