Friday, December 25, 2009

He who is mighty...

"And Mary said,
My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior; for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever."
-Luke 1:46-55

Well... today I spent my very first Christmas away from my family.
I woke up around 10:30am, trying to convince myself that it was just like any other normal day and that I just have to make it through and I will get to fly home tomorrow. There were a couple big sisters and 3 girls here also that I got to spend it with. We opened presents and hesitantly watched the blizzard begin outside, and prayed that we would be able to make it out of the house to go spend Christmas with my mentor's family. On the way out the door I received a call from the airline notifying me that my flight home for tomorrow had been cancelled. It was all that I could do to keep from crying, but I called and thankfully... got it rescheduled for Sunday and even got my return flight pushed back a day later to make up for it. So it worked out alright, I just have to pray that the weather isn't still too bad Sunday morning for me to fly out.
But, we did make it to my mentor's house to celebrate Christmas and it was wonderful. We ate lots of good food and played game together and watched a movie. I felt so blessed to be a part of their celebration.

This evening as I reflect on the day, I'm realizing that I spent most of it either anxious or angry toward God instead of celebrating Him. I definitely allowed the inconveniences of my circumstances to distract me from the many blessings he has bestowed upon me. I begin to remember that there are people throughout the world who don't even have a warm place to lay their head as this blizzard takes over the midwest; that there are people who won't receive one gift; and that there are people who have no friends or family to surround themselves with. And I become ashamed of how ungrateful I have been today. Not only do I have a wonderful family in North Carolina that are missing me and wishing I was there with them, but I also have a family here who I am so blessed to have been able to spend this day with.

Let us rejoice as we remember the countless blessings that we have overlooked this year. Most of all, let us rejoice in the love of a Savior who gave up glory to redeem those who forget him.

In Him,

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Mobile blogging now... Maybe you guys will get a few more updates now :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

But you were washed...

"What I care for are the humble, broken creatures, who stand in awe of all I say." Isaiah 66:2 (MOFFATT)

To ask God for a deeper realization of our own sin is a terrifyingly, wonderful prayer.
I prayed this prayer around a month ago probably, and I feel like my life and my relationship with the Lord have both been turned on their heads. It seems as if every time I turn around, I am being confronted with my own prideful, lustful, idolatrous heart. Initially when this began, I repeated my typical response to sin in my life... hiding. I have such an inclination to run as fast as I can away from God when I am confronted with my own sin, and that... I'm realizing, in itself... is sin.
I think I'm coming out of that pattern though, and only by the Lord's grace.
Here are some quotes/scriptures that the Lord has really used to minister to me lately...

"Is not my word like a fire? And like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?" - Jeremiah 23:29

"The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather, he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God's estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is, in the sight of God, more important than angels. In himself nothing; in God, everything." -A.W. Tozer

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God. And such were some of you. BUT YOU WERE WASHED, YOU WERE SANCTIFIED, YOU WERE JUSTIFIED IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND BY THE SPIRIT OF OUR GOD." - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Lord, I want to stop being fooled about myself. I want to know both how weak and helpless I am but also how important I am in You. Thank you for washing me clean, through your Son.

In Him,

Monday, November 2, 2009

5 Family Weekends down... 1 to go.

Hello all.

Well, this past weekend we had our Shelterwood Family Weekend. I absolutely love them, but they are also pretty draining. Lots of high emotions and chaos with lots of people in small spaces. :)
But... they really do put a lot of what we are doing here into perspective again. It is incredible to just stop and look around at all of the amazing things God is doing in this place. It is easy to forget in the day to day hustle and bustle just what we are actually working for and sometimes it is easy to forget that there is a real world outside of here and that these kids aren't just isolated "troubled teens" but that they have families, moms and dads and brothers and sisters, at home who love them and care about them and are praying for them every single day. I am so thankful to the Lord that he has allowed me to be a part of something so grand that He is doing here.
Please continue to pray for our ministry here and for the Lord's continued work through us.
Pray that He would continually remind us that everything that we do is only through Him and that it is Him alone who transforms lives.

In Him,

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Meteor Shower

I know it has been a while since you guys have seen an update from me, but sometimes it's just hard to know what the heck to write about...
But! This weekend I had the opportunity to see an awesome show... Owl City. If you've never heard of them, you should change that. They are not a "christian band," but are "christian people," and this song is a song about Jesus...

"I can finally see
that You're right there beside me.
I am not my own,
for I have been made new.
Please don't let me go.
I desperately need You."

Our eyes are opened. He was right there all along.
We have no right to ourselves. We have been reborn.
Please, Jesus... keep holding onto me.
Desperation. We must realize our desperation.

In Him,

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Prayer is faith turned toward God.

So, I think I have finally found a church home: Redeemer Fellowship, KC. ( - check it out)
I think I should share with you guys some things from the amazing sermon this morning and maybe you'll understand why I'm choosing this place.

The text was from Mark 9:14-29; i'll paraphrase the story...

After Jesus comes down from the Mount of Transfiguration with his "A Team" disciples, Peter, James, & John, the run into quite the little situation at the bottom of the most amazing mountaintop experience of all time. A crowd is gathered around and there is a commotion going on around a man who has brought his heard of Jesus' miracles who has brought his demon-possessed son to be healed. Upon arrival, Jesus is not there, and to top it off, three of the most prominent disciples are missing in action too! So the rest of the disciples attempt to heal the boy and are unsuccessful. Jesus comes down, hears the man's desire, rebukes his "faithless" disciples, shows compassion toward the man, and casts out the crazy demon, that has attempted many times to kill his host, out of his son. Later, the disciples ask Jesus, "Why couldn't we do that?" Jesus answers them, "This kind can come out by nothing but prayer."

Now, normally the intensity of the demon, the desperation of the father, or the father's statement, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief," are what catch my eye in this passage. But this morning i've learned to see it with a little different eyes. This morning the pride of the disciples is what cut me right to the soul, because way too often, I can be so similar to them. So, the disciples had already been commissioned to heal and cast out demons... so why the heck couldn't they do it themselves? I think Jesus answers that question in the last verse of this passage... "This kind can come out by nothing but prayer." The disciples must have thought, "Oh, we've got this one. We've seen Jesus do it a hundred times. All we have to do is stand facing this way, and speak in this tone, and lay our hands on the boy in this way... and surely that demon will come out. We have what we need to do this. We've got it covered." How prideful to think they could do it on their own! How ridiculous to think that they didn't need help!

But this is just what they did... and this is what I am guilty of far too often.
Prayer is admitting that WE DON'T HAVE WHAT WE NEED. Prayer is faith turned toward God, not toward ourselves. We are saved not by the strength of our faith, but by the object of our faith... JESUS. Any strength that we have or any word or work that comes out of our mortal bodies is only through Him. How sinful and ridiculous for us to think any other way.

Father, break my pride. Humble my confidence in myself. Strengthen my confidence in you.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

once upon a time...

once upon a time....
i made a blog,
and went for almost a year without ever updating it.
isn't that a sad story?

well... i don't really know how in the world to fill ya'll in on everything that has happened throughout this crazy year other than to say it has been an adventure and God has been faithful. my first year as a house director passed by so quickly and now i'm beginning year number two. i am hopeful and excited about what the lord has in store this year here at doulos. our new leadtimer's are jumping in and getting their feet wet and they are doing an amazing job. our house director team is down to three, myself being the only female. this is a little overwhelming but the lord is so good at reminding me of his sovereignty when i doubt his plan.

i want to keep this thing more up to date this year. the lord is teaching me so much here that not sharing it would be pretty ridiculous. please keep checking back and i hope that somehow you are encouraging through my ramblings.

in him,