Struggle

Recently I've been thinking about struggle a lot, probably because I feel like that's all i've been doing.

I've wondered why it really is that the Lord allows us to go through struggles. When I'm running low on money and I don't know if i'll be able to afford to go home over our next break, or when a little is getting under my skin, or when I'm trying to figure out what i'm going to do next year, or when I have a hard conversation with my parents... what is the Lord's purpose in all of these things?

I told one of my littles the other day, as she is going through a rough patch, that the Lord allows us to go through difficult circumstances in order to grow us and conform us more into His image. I told her that he is preparing her for something that lies ahead that she can't see. I told her that she should rejoice in her struggles because that is when other's will see Christ's power through her more and more. I told her the Lord loves us too much to leave us where we are, so he allows us to go through hard times for our own good, even though it may seem difficult in the moment.

I found myself remembering this conversation when I have been going through some rough patches recently. I know in my heart I believe all of these things to be true, but it is so hard to live that out. Instead, I find myself retreating and becoming angry with God, questioning him, "Don't you see what's going on down here???"

O ye of little faith.
I hear him say in that still small voice.

Lord, increase my faith.

In Him,
Shannon

The Last 6 Months...

Well... what can I say? I know the posting every week didn't happen, obviously. All I can say is the past 6 months have probably been the hardest, busiest, scariest, best 6 months of my life.

There is no way I could summarize all that has taken place since I came here so I won't even attempt. What I will do is try to share with you a little of what the Lord has been teaching me since i've been here because in the final analysis, that's what it all boils down to anyway.

The first thing that comes to my mind is spiritual community. I was aware from the beginning that this is one of them main aspects of LeadTime, but I must admit, I really had no idea what I was getting into with this. I live and work with some of the most amazing men and women of the Lord that I have ever known. They know me... probably just as well as any group of people have known me in my entire life. They have seen me succeed and be strong and they have seen me fail and be weak and vica versa. I have learned so much about myself, both spiritually and emotionally, and they have been there to observe the entire process. They are there to build me up and encourage me and to catch me when I fall on my face... which I do. We love each other, truly, as Christ intended us to. Now all of this is not to say that we are not human and that we don't fail... but we accept each other's shortcomings and love despite them.

I have truly experienced what the word means when it says our goal should be the same as Christ's: to serve, not to be served. Daily I beat down my selfishness and self-centerdness with a stick and try my best to put other's needs before my own. This is not an easy task. When you wake up at 6am and serve until 12am, it can be daunting. The fact is, however, that my life is not my own, my time is not my own, and my gifts are not my own. These are all Christ's and I will work for him through serving other's until the Lord decides to take me home. This is how other's will know who's disciple you are... by how you love one another.

I'm also learning what it means to lead as Christ leads. I'm realizing (& I feel like God has been teaching me this for a while now) that true leadership happens in the ability to step back and be out of the spotlight. Leadership is developed in opportunities to be humble and compassionate, not prideful and domineering.

Those are just a few sentiments i've take from the last 6 months. I hope there will be more to come here soon, but I won't make any promises. God bless all of you, thanks for reading!

Under His Mercy,
Shannon

LeadTime

Wow... it's been a while since i've been able to post on here. Sorry guys!

Last month was absolutely crazy. I guess I should start by saying i'm now living in Branson, MO and i'll be here till next August. I'm participating in a program called LeadTime, which is a division of Doulos Ministries. Doulos ministries is comprised of Shelterwood and LeadTime. Shelterwood is a teen residential care facility which houses teens with varying issues. Through the program, the teens live in a setting with other teens and are mentored and counseled regularly. LeadTime is a program which trains post college age men and women to be servant leaders. We are also discipled regularly and live in residence with the teens in the shelterwood program while serving as their "big brothers/sisters." We also take classes full time to develop our ministry and enhance our personal relationships with the Lord. The classes cover topics such as the Life of Christ, The life of Paul, Spiritual Disciplines, and Personal Discovery. I would love for everyone who sees this to take a few minutes and check out the website: www.leadtime.org

I've been here since August 15th and i'm absolutely loving it. I was very overwhelmed and somewhat homesick in the beginning but the longer i'm here the more confident I get that this is exactly where the Lord would have me to be for this year. The girls in the shelterwood program are amazing and i'm so thankful to have the opportunity to live with them and minister to them throughout this year.

I'm going to do my best to post weekly and keep everyone updated on what is happening here at Doulos throughout the year and I would greatly appreciate the prayers of anyone who happens to stumble across my posts. Please pray that God will give me the wisdom and strength to minister to these young ladies in the way he would have me to and pray for each of the girls in the shelterwood program as they uncover and deal with whatever issues they are facing. I'm also continuing to raise financial support throughout the year so please pray that God will continue to provide as he so lovingly has so far. Thanks and God Bless!

In Him,
Shannon

I have the answer!

So very rarely in my life do I have the opportunity to say... "I have the answer!" But, believe it or not, I think I do... or rather, God had it all along and He was just gracious enough to reveal it to me.

Anyway, as you can tell from my last post I had many questions regarding this whole concept of "guarding your heart" as it relates to relationships. Check this out:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Phillippians 4:6-7

Isn't that just amazing? So many of us are familiar with verse 6, but what i've realized lately is that sometimes God must be yelling... "KEEP READING CHILD!" Basically as a result of following all of the instructions Paul gives us in verse 6, the peace of God (which is completely impossible for us to stand so don't even try... just enjoy!) will GUARD OUR HEARTS AND OUR MINDS because of Jesus Christ. In all things this peace will guard our hearts... whether that be in relationships or from the wreckage of the world around us, or from the pain of a broken family or from ANYTHING we can ever imagine. The best part of this, in my opinion... is that God must know it is pretty much the greatest challenge on earth for us as humans to guard our hearts from all of these things ourselves so He says... "here, do this & i'll take care of that for you through my Son."

Our God is so amazing. He loves us for absolutely no reason at all and He has us in the palm of His hands at all times... whether we realize it or not.

Truly Blessed,
Shannon

PS: If anyone actually reads these things... let me know. I feel like i'm talking to the air here people! hehe

Guarding Your Heart

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."

Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart... this is a concept i've been tossing and turning over the past couple of weeks in my head, and I must be honest, i'm still not sure how exactly to "guard my heart."

The Hebrew word for guard is Mishmar which by definition means, "place of confinement, prison, guard, jail, guard post, watch, observence." I can't help but apply this verse to relationships because that is the circumstance I have most often heard it applied to. And when I am in that situation, this verse is one that always comes to my mind. I have many many questions about this so if anyone out there in blog land has any input (or actually reads this) it would be greatly appreciated.

1. How do you balance guarding your heart with being open to opportunities God presents?
2. How do you know when to let your guard down?
3: Will God reveal to you "who" is worthy of letting your guard down for?
4. If He does... how do you know? What will it look like?
5: What happens if you don't let the person in that God is wanting you to and you push them away? Will God send someone else, or have you pretty much blown it?
6: What if you let your guard down because you feel like God is leading you to do so and the person you let it down for tramples all over your heart?
7: If you feel like God leads you to let your guard down because it's the right person, and it turns out not to be... what will be different when it IS the right person?
8: How do you put your guard back up without blocking out every other opportunity that comes your way in the future?
9: Is it possible to put your guard up or let your guard down whenever you feel like it?
10: What's the difference between guarding your heart to glorify God and guarding your heart because you are afraid of getting hurt?

Now... if your heart affects everything you do, how do these scenarios impact your actions and in turn your relationship with and service for God?

Sincerely Confused,
Shannon

All-Powerful God

"The Lord is slow to anger and great in power... His way is in whirwind and storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet." ~Nahum 1:3


I've decided to take a step away from The Sacred Way for a little while because God has been speaking to me in so many different ways recently that I must share some of these experiences.


Yesterday evening, as I prepared to get some things done around the house and watch a movie with my Mom, the sky became black and that really annoying weather alert beep came across every station on the television. The next 10-15 minutes in my house were pretty scary, to say the least. I've never seen a storm this bad and my 70 year old neighbor, after it was over, said she hadn't either. Quarter-size hail fell, the wind blew harder than i've ever witnessed (so much that it ripped one of the wood panels off of our fence), and the rain blew completely sideways, so hard that we couldn't even see out our windows, and the power was out the rest of the night. I'm convinced it was a small tornado. Here are some pictures of the damage...








God really put a never before realized reverence and fear of Him into my heart through this storm. He is so powerful. With one word, He created the universe and He created that storm yesterday. I don't really even know how to put into words how it made me feel other than that God is in control. He can control the weather and He can control the circumstances of my life; my career path, my education, my family life, my ministry, and my relationships. He knows what He's doing and He is sovereign.

He also showed me that no matter how big the storm may look around me, I can rest in the fact that He is protecting me and working everything together for my good. Even when I can't see out the front window because of the rain, I can rest in the fact that He has ordered my steps and is only waiting for me to trust in Him. After witnessing the worst storm of my life, I also witnessed the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen...



God is good. He is powerful and sovereign. He knows what we need better than we do. Trust in Him, no matter how big the storm around you may seem.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord." ~Jeremiah 17:7

Spiritual Disciplines

"God has made me as bread for his chosen ones, and if it is necessary for me to be ground in the teeth of lions in order to feed His children, then blessed be the name of the Lord."
~St. Ignatius, Early Christian Martyr

I started a new book a few days ago entitled The Sacred Way by Tony Jones. It describes in detail the spiritual disciplines practiced by the saints during the early years of the Christian faith... mainly ones practiced by the Desert Fathers and Mothers and by monks. This book is so rich in content that I hardly know where to begin with this series of posts. So, I guess i'll start where it does... with spirituality.

What do we think of when we hear the word spirituality? Is being "spiritual" something that happens automatically upon salvation, or is it a process or practice that we must discipline ourselves in order to achieve? Seventh century mystic, Brother Lawrence's definition of spirituality: "the practice of the presence of God." I like the emphasis on practice... it implies that being spiritual is not something that just happens to us, but something that we must work towards and sacrifice for. Tony Jones offers this definition, "the goal of Christian spirituality is to be enlivened by God's Spirit." I also like his definition because it shows God's action through the process. God's Spirit must enliven us... He is the one that gives us His Spirit and defines our spirituality, by His love and grace, not by our own works or deeds. I hope these definitions make sense and coincide in the minds of others as they do mine, although intellectually, I realize they seem to be oxymorons.

So how do we reach this spirituality? There are many specific disciplines outlined throughout this book that are proving to be interesting and beneficial in my own spiritual life. The ones discussed are: silence/solitude, sacred reading, The Jesus Prayer, centering prayer, meditation, The Ignatian Examen, Icons, Spiritual Direction, The Daily Office, The Labyrinth, Stations of the Cross, pilgrimage, fasting, the sign of the cross & other bodily prayers, sabbath, and service. As I study these and practice some of them I plan to blog what i've learned and my reactions to these practices.

I hope this seems as interesting to some of you as it does to me & I hope you enjoy the next few blogs. These disciplines led the saints of old to follow Jesus so wholeheartedly and sacrificially that they made statements like the one at the beginning of this blog and I know that this kind of devotion is what we need today and with God... we can all arrive there.

In Him,
Shannon